July 11th, 2010
August 4th, 2005
How do you nip the impulse to tattle on someone? Because my 4 year old can't stop. He tells on me to his dad, my parents, my siblings; he tells on his dad to me, etc. And today, when I came out from the gas station and got back I got back in the car, he announced, "Auntie Sarah said what was taking you so fucking long and that she is goin'-to-beat-you-with-a-big-stick." That last part was said as one big long word. And the best part for me was that he could care less that she swore. He was so very upset because "sticks are danger, danger, danger." (Remind me to take Croc Hunter off the okay to watch list for a bit.)
But for all the amusement I get from his attempts to get the grownups in trouble, my sister made a very good point. If he keeps up with the 'I'm telling on you' routine, he's going to get the crap beat out of him more than if I had named him Gaylord, dressed him in plaid pants that go up to his armpits and made him wear saddle shoes. I just spent the last two years teaching him not to be the playground bully; did not intend for him to make him the target for wedgies and swirlies. (Though swirlies have become an effective means of keeping him under control at family parties. Much love to the cousins for that trick.)
But for all the amusement I get from his attempts to get the grownups in trouble, my sister made a very good point. If he keeps up with the 'I'm telling on you' routine, he's going to get the crap beat out of him more than if I had named him Gaylord, dressed him in plaid pants that go up to his armpits and made him wear saddle shoes. I just spent the last two years teaching him not to be the playground bully; did not intend for him to make him the target for wedgies and swirlies. (Though swirlies have become an effective means of keeping him under control at family parties. Much love to the cousins for that trick.)
pensiveJune 28th, 2005
http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Ca
Now if the bozos in DC could just figure this one out. Someone explain to me how same sex marriages threaten our society, please.
Now if the bozos in DC could just figure this one out. Someone explain to me how same sex marriages threaten our society, please.
June 13th, 2005
Every now and again I feel the need to find some fun/obnoxious folk or acapella music. Today's joy comes from Tom Smith, who also does some great spoofs.
http://www.tomsmithonline.com/frees
Old McRorschach
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw his birth, I-d-E-g-o.
With a pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw his sister, I-d-E-g-o.
With a nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw a wallaby, I-d-E-g-o.
With a Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barney moo,
nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw a writer, I-d-E-g-o.
With a shit here and a shit there,
Here a shit, there a shit, everywhere a shit shit,
Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barneymoo,
nipple, nipple here and a plump, plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw David Wenham, I-d-E-g-o.
With a blue cake here and a smooth banana there,
Here a blue, there a cake, everywhere a smooth banana,
shit here and a shit there,
Here a shit, there a shit, everywhere a shit shit,
Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barney moo,
nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
http://www.tomsmithonline.com/frees
Old McRorschach
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw his birth, I-d-E-g-o.
With a pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw his sister, I-d-E-g-o.
With a nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw a wallaby, I-d-E-g-o.
With a Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barney moo,
nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw a writer, I-d-E-g-o.
With a shit here and a shit there,
Here a shit, there a shit, everywhere a shit shit,
Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barneymoo,
nipple, nipple here and a plump, plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
Old McRorschach had a blot, I-d-E-g-o.
And in this blot he saw David Wenham, I-d-E-g-o.
With a blue cake here and a smooth banana there,
Here a blue, there a cake, everywhere a smooth banana,
shit here and a shit there,
Here a shit, there a shit, everywhere a shit shit,
Barney Barney here and a moo moo there,
Here a Barney, there a moo, everywhere a Barney moo,
nipple nipple here and a plump plump there,
Here a nipple, there a plump, everywhere a plump nipple,
pump pump here and a pbbbtttt pbbbtttt there,
Here a pump, there a pbbbtttt, everywhere a pump pbbbtttt,
Old McRorschach needs some help, I-d-E-g-o.
June 2nd, 2005
There is a reason why you do not name the parts of a bottle to a four year old. Nothing like snarfing your mini-wheats. I love my son, he makes my world a funnier, if not more surreal, place. He had his Tigger pj's on backwards, with the tail hanging in front, and made the anouncement that his cereal is anatomically correct. It was even funnier/stranger since 'nipples' was the only word he actually pronouced correctly. After successfully not choking to death on my breakfast, I had to explain to him why that wasn't so and find a way to keep him from repeating the phrase at his Catholic preschool (what the hell was I thinking!?) without making it seem like a big deal. SInce I didn't get a phone call, I guess I did okay. Thank god tomorrow is graduation. Though I still find it a bit absurd to have a graduation ceremony for a group of three/four year olds that will be in a four/five year old program in the fall. Especially since they will have class in the same room with the same teacher.
crazySeptember 18th, 2004
Oh my, it's been a while. I should really check in more often. Let's see...having a baby girl in January, buying a house at the end of the month, and doing lots of fun projects in said house before said child gets here. My hubby and I have been getting quotes for new windows, outer doors, siding and wood flooring, all of which we hope to have installed by the time retail hell starts. (Being in sales means I will not see him from Halloween until after New Year's, but as long as he makes it to the hospital for the baby's birth, I can live with that.) I will have lots of time to get the 3-almost-4 year old to understand that we will actually be having a baby in the house. Not a baby dinosaur, not baby spiders and not baby snakes, all of which he thinks are "cutey." Real babies have been designated dirty and ugly. Gotta' love the Discovery channel.
I am actually really looking forward to seeing how he reacts to the baby, and to what this one picks up from him the way he picks up things from others. Or from his own observations. I got him some new undies, since he's growing so damn fast, and picked up boxer briefs rather than regular briefs. He is currently wearing 2 pairs - one as underwear, and one as shorts. Can't get him to change. Can't even get him to turn the 2nd pair around so it's not backwards. *shrug* I guess it's better than when he thought the legs were sleeves and tried to put it on like a shirt. *smirk* I can't wait till he starts dating. I have so much ammo.
I am actually really looking forward to seeing how he reacts to the baby, and to what this one picks up from him the way he picks up things from others. Or from his own observations. I got him some new undies, since he's growing so damn fast, and picked up boxer briefs rather than regular briefs. He is currently wearing 2 pairs - one as underwear, and one as shorts. Can't get him to change. Can't even get him to turn the 2nd pair around so it's not backwards. *shrug* I guess it's better than when he thought the legs were sleeves and tried to put it on like a shirt. *smirk* I can't wait till he starts dating. I have so much ammo.
June 7th, 2004
So the preggers test came back positive, and I'm not telling my mom yet. I love her, but she asks too many questions and I've barely come to terms with the idea, so I know I will not be able to answer anything in a way she will like. (The "I dunno" answer has never been one of her favorites.) Which means that those of you who are now in the know may not mention this to anyone who will in turn mention this to the Council of Mothers. Ken is, of course, completely calm, and John's reaction to having a baby brother or sister was "Where is it?"
Oh God, just realized that I have to explain reproduction to the three year old who already tells people that Teletubbies are propoganda and his Uncle Billy is a facist. (I love my brothers. I really wish I could record him and put it up here, cuz it's just too funny.)
Alright - I've vented and told the world, now it's time to make dinner and fold the laundry. HOpefully I'll be back later.
Oh God, just realized that I have to explain reproduction to the three year old who already tells people that Teletubbies are propoganda and his Uncle Billy is a facist. (I love my brothers. I really wish I could record him and put it up here, cuz it's just too funny.)
Alright - I've vented and told the world, now it's time to make dinner and fold the laundry. HOpefully I'll be back later.
January 9th, 2004
So, we have entered the level of hell that is potty training. You know it's bad when daycare teacher (who does this for a living) tells you that you son is abnormally stubborn. Case in point: I am insisting that he at least SIT on the toilet, and that he's not leaving until he does. My darling spawn then climbs into the tub, looks me right in the eye and POOPS (yeah, I'm a mom) in the tub. Snotnosed brat. I love him, I swear I do - but on occasion I understand my sister's desire to shake him. And my husband's ideas of parenting through duct tape are sounding better everyday.
January 1st, 2004
November 25th, 2003
How is it that I work with kids all day, and yet still desparately want another baby? My cousin is due in a few weeks, one of the teachers is due in March, as is a fellow director, and my director is due in June/July. (only found this out because they called her at work to tell her that she's high risk and has to take lots 'o tests, but not what the problem may be. Stressed out pregnant woman + bad news about the baby = melt down. Me and Ginny sent her home.) But I have caught the bug. I want another one. Does it matter that I am jumping for joy that my first is almost done with diapers? nope, still would happily have a new poop machine in the house JUST for those cute little clothes and the way a baby smells after a bath. (trust me, I still wash John in the baby stuff and it's not the same on a 3 yr old.)
It's just sick that one baby shower and a bunch of pregnant ladies makes me crave getting fat and becoming a walking milk bar. *sigh* But they make the cutest clothes with The Very Hungry Caterpillar on them and I want to have a little person to put them on!! *grin* I'll just spoil the dark god that my cousin is spawning until I can have another one of my own.
It's just sick that one baby shower and a bunch of pregnant ladies makes me crave getting fat and becoming a walking milk bar. *sigh* But they make the cutest clothes with The Very Hungry Caterpillar on them and I want to have a little person to put them on!! *grin* I'll just spoil the dark god that my cousin is spawning until I can have another one of my own.
